THERAPY-TO-GO - RME 374 - Is It Love or Limerence? A Clarity Checklist

Aug 27, 2026

Upload by Bintang

A practical clarity checklist and guided worksheets help readers distinguish limerence from genuine love by examining patterns of uncertainty, longing for reciprocation, intrusive thought loops, and idealization. The material includes scored sign sections for limerence and real love, decision prompts based on section totals, and reflective questions to test how feelings shift if the person is fully unavailable. It emphasizes responding with clarity rather than acting from intensity.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryHealthcare

FormatPDF

Pages23

Reading Time58 min

AccessFree to download

Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist

Section 1: Signs of Limerence

Section 2: Signs of Real Love

What Your Scores Are Telling You

One More Question to Sit With

What to Do With This

THERAPY-TO-GO | RME \#374 IS IT LOVE OR LIMERENCE? HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE ABBY MEDCALF .COM THERAPY-TO-GO | RME 374 Table of Contents • Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist • Journaling Prompts to Uncover What’s Underneath the Longing • A Step-by-Step Worksheet for Working Through a Limerent Thought Spiral • Is This Limerence or Love? A more in-depth Worksheet for Getting Honest About What You’re Actually Experiencing • What’s This Really About: A Worksheet for Identifying the Unmet Need Underneath the Limerence • Breaking the Limerence Cycle: A Personal Action Plan for Starving the Loop and Rebuilding Your Focus ABBY MEDCALF .COM Am I in Limerence or Love? A Clarity Checklist Sometimes what feels like love is love. And sometimes what feels like love is limerence, an involuntary, consuming state built on uncertainty and the desperate need to be wanted back. The two can feel almost identical from the inside, especially when you're in the middle of it. This checklist isn't about telling you what to feel. It's about helping you see what's actually driving your feelings, so you can respond with clarity instead of reacting from the intensity. Instructions Think about the person you’re currently consumed by or most recently were. Read each statement and rate how true it is for you right now. Use this scale: 1 = Not true at all 2 = Rarely true 3 = Sometimes true 4 = Often true 5 = Very often true 6 = Extremely true There’s no neutral option on purpose. Clarity matters more than comfort. Section 1: Signs of Limerence | Statement | SCORE | | --- | --- | | My feelings for this person intensify when I'm not sure how they feel about me. | | | I find myself replaying our conversations, analyzing their words for hidden meaning. | | | A single warm message from them can turn my whole day around. | | | I’ve noticed I idealize this person and have trouble seeing their flaws clearly. | | | My mood depends heavily on whether I’ve heard from them recently. | | | I spend significant time fantasizing about a future with them, especially the moment they finally choose me. | | | I feel physically restless or anxious when I haven’t had contact with them for awhile. | | | I’m much more focused on whether they want me than on whether I actually want them. | | | I find it hard to stop thinking about them even when I’m trying to focus on something else. | | | --- | --- | | The uncertainty about how they feel is part of what makes this so intense. | | Section 1 Total: Section 2: Signs of Real Love | Statement | SCORE | | --- | --- | | I love this person for who they actually are, including their ordinary or imperfect qualities. | | | I feel grounded in how I feel about them, even when there’s some distance or silence between us. | | | I genuinely care about their wellbeing, not just about how they feel about me. | | | I can see them clearly, their strengths and their limitations, and I still want to be with them. | | | When I imagine a future together, I’m picturing a real relationship, not just the feeling of being chosen. | | | My feelings for them have stayed relatively consistent, even as I’ve gotten to know them better. | | | Being with them brings me a sense of ease and comfort, not just excitement or anxiety. | | | I feel seen and known by them, not just intensely drawn to them. | | | I’d still want to be with them if all uncertainty were removed and I knew for sure they were fully committed to me. | | | Thinking about them feels warm and steady, not urgent or consuming. | | Section 2 Total: What Your Scores Are Telling You Add up each section separately. If your Section 1 score is significantly higher than Section 2: What you’re experiencing has many of the hallmarks of limerence. That doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t real or intense. It means they may be more about the uncertainty and the longing for reciprocation than about who this perso

FAQs

What is the purpose of the limerence vs. love clarity checklist?

It helps readers identify what is driving their feelings so they can respond with clarity instead of reacting from intensity.

How should readers use the checklist and scoring system?

Readers rate how true each statement is for them using a 1–6 scale, with no neutral option to encourage clear differentiation.

What does it suggest if the limerence section score is much higher than the love section score?

It suggests the experience likely has many hallmarks of limerence, with intensity more tied to uncertainty and longing for reciprocation than to the real person.

Aug 27, 2026

Upload by Bintang