Writing a Seller a Letter Can Make or Break a Home Purchase - June 25, 2018

Sep 13, 2026

Real estate agents across the Washington region and the country differ on whether a buyer-to-seller “love letter” helps or harms a home bid. Agents describe letters as a way to build intimacy, create personal connections, and explain unfavorable terms, citing successful recent offers and seller preferences. Others warn letters can backfire, trigger anxiety, or violate guidance around fair housing compliance. Legal obligations require objective acceptance criteria and presentation of all offer documents.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryLetters

FormatPDF

Pages3

Reading Time1 min

AccessFree to download

Negotiating with a love letter

How love letters can help

When letters backfire

Legal considerations and Fair Housing

June 25, 2018 Writing a seller a letter can sometimes make or break a home purchase Putting pen to paper to tell a home seller how you feel can sometimes help your case, but not always. (iStock) Writing a courtship letter to win the favor of a love interest is considered old-fashioned in modern society, but those letters are alive and well in the quest to seal a real estate deal. Not all real estate agents, however, agree that they are helpful in wooing your heart’s desire. Real estate agents in the Washington region and across the country have varied opinionson whether a “love letter” from a buyer to a seller makes or breaks a bid to buy the house of your dreams. Some agents say that sellers are more inclined to work with buyers who write letters filled with flattery and create intimacy, while others warn that letters can be relationship killers. Those agents with a positive outlook say that letters have helped them win deals. “One of my clients recently got preferential treatment because of their letter,” said Antonia Ketabchi, an agent with Redfin based in Rockville. Ketabchi added that,“if there are multiple offers on the home and the offers are similar and if the sellers have a sentimental attachment to the home, writing a letter can definitely help.” Agents located in other parts of the country agree. “I feel like an older generation of sellers like them,” said David Carr, an agent with RTN Realty Advisors in Lancaster, Mass. “People who have spent a lifetime in a home, raised families there, and grew to love the neighbors want to know who is going to live there,” he wrote in an email. Rob Rushing with Re/Max on the Coast, located in Gulf Breeze, Fla., believes that letters“create a personal and emotional connection between the parties.” Rushing said that he included a letter in three recent offers and his buyers got the home in each case. Letters can also soften the blow to a seller when receiving an offer with unfavorable terms.“A seller will interpret the offer from their own perspective just like you might interpret a text or an email,” said Jeffrey Fagan, president-elect of the Orlando Regional Realtors Association. Fagan explained that a sincere letter of explanation can create understanding and alleviate tensions between the parties. An interesting twist on the love letter—sellers can court buyers with letters as a way to entice them to submit an offer. In a recent transaction, Dana Rice with Compass in Washington was representing a seller whose home boasted a yard full of flowering bushes and plants.“We were selling the property during a season when the garden was not blooming,” Rice said.“The owner wanted to make sure prospects knew just how beautiful the garden is.” She included photos of the garden in bloom with the letter. Not all letters have successful outcomes, however. Some can create strife between parties. In my own recent transaction in which I was representing a buyer in Bethesda, my clients submitted a letter to the sellers. In the letter, they said how they looked forward to raising their children in the house once they relocate from Japan. The sellers were alarmed that the buyers were purchasing the home sight unseen. Fortunately, in this case, we were the only offer on the property, so my clients completed the purchase. “It’s a crapshoot at best,” said Debbie Rice Miller, owner of Bella Real Estate in El Dorado County, Calif.“I have had some love letters that backfire,” Miller explained that buyers can provide too much detail that ends up upsetting the sellers.“One buyer went into detail about what they expected from the sellers and it p—– them off.” Some agents refuse to have letters submitted to their seller clients. Some agents even go as far as stating in the listing that no letters will be accepted. “I will not read them and I will not send them to my client,” said John Goetz of Real Estate One in Ann Arbor, Mich.“If you want my client’s house, then write

FAQs

Why do some real estate agents believe love letters help home bids?

Some agents say letters create intimacy and emotional connection, especially when offers are similar and sellers feel sentiment toward the home. They also cite cases where clients received preferential treatment after submitting a letter.

What are common reasons love letters can hurt negotiations?

Agents warn that letters may create strife or upset sellers if buyers provide too much personal detail or information that increases concerns, such as purchasing sight unseen. Some agents also refuse to submit letters to their seller clients.

What Fair Housing-related rules affect the use of personal letters?

Guidance emphasizes that sellers must not discriminate against buyers based on protected characteristics, and acceptance must rely on objective criteria like price and contract terms. Letters must not be used in ways that violate Fair Housing obligations.

Sep 13, 2026

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