What Survival Looks Like At Home - A guide to the 4 survival states

Aug 26, 2026

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A practical, first-person style guide explaining how trauma can lock a person into different “survival states” and why learning safety again can feel difficult. It describes four modes, focusing in depth on Freeze: observable behaviors, internal awareness, body sensations, and the inner emotional narrative. It also outlines what support can help, and briefly contrasts with Flight, where hyperactivity, threat responses, running away, and disruption show up when unstructured time or expectations feel unsafe.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryHealthcare

FormatPDF

Pages25

Reading Time1 h 3 min

AccessFree to download

What Survival Looks Like At Home

Freeze

What I look like in Freeze

What I am aware of in Freeze

How my body feels in Freeze

What’s happening in my Inner World

You can help me feel safe again

What I look like in Flight

# What Survival Looks Like At Home Helen Townsend Something unexpected and veryfrightening happened to me thatmade me fear for my safety. As a result,my brain and body are'stuck in trauma time'as a way toprotect me from the scary thinghappening again.It's like my braincan't learn that Iam actually saferight now. To cope with the feeling that I′mconstantly in danger,I swingbetween different survival modes tokeep safe when I feel scared. www.innenworldwork.co.uk InnerWorld Work I would really like your help to feel safe and regulatedso l can believe that our world together is safe again.By travelling with me out of my survival state and intoa calmer frame of mind,I may be more open again tolistening to what you have to say,to learn from ourlife together,play safely,gain some control over mybody,enjoy my relationships and understand that myworld with you is a safe and loving place to be.I would love you to see thesehidden feelings rather than mysurvival state behavior,I do wantto relax and enjoy our lifetogether butI need your helpto do this.www.innerworldwork.co.ukInnerWorldWork ## Freeze Flight This booklet tells you about the 4 differentsurvival states that l swing between: ## Fight ## What l look like in Freeze.. ·Bored,not interested ·Confused,forgetful ·Distracted,not listening ·Clumsy ·Talking about something else,moving you on ·Not moving to where you've asked me to be ·Standing still/sitting still (hanging/lounging about) ·Finding it hard to stay focused on what you've asked me to do ·Scanning the room reeNe ·Wide eyed,my pupils might dilate ·Zoned out,daydreaming,staring into space ## What l am aware of in Freeze... ·My heart is beating faster,my breathing is faster ·My brain is slowing down ·lam under attack ·Ican't do what you have asked ·lam terrified ·lam trying to think of something that makes me feel safe ·Background noises,I can hear what is going on aroundme without needing to specifically focus Freeze ·The tone of your voices rather than the words,I can hearyou're getting frustrated with me ·Feeling deeply anxious ·I need to get ready to protect myself ·lam looking for where the danger is coming from How my body feels in Freeze.. · Frozen brain · Under attack · IfI don't move you can't see me · Everything feels like a dream · Ready to fight and defend myself · Very scared · In a fog,disconnected,numb Freeze · My pulse rate is going up · My muscles are tensing,my hands might clench into fists · Some sounds are louder and some more distant,I can'tfocus on what is being said but I can clearly hear the tone. ## What's happening in my Inner World.. ·lam a failure,you are going to send me away ·I can't be who you want me to be ·lam not worth bothering with ·Shame,I hate myself ·Ineed to get somewhere safe,I don't know what's going tohappen ·Iam an outsider,I don't belong here with you ·I can't do this and you will get rid of me when you realize ·lam humiliated,embarrassed reeNe ·I'm scared,I need to feel safe ·I can't bear your rejectionwwwimerworkdwoerkcoukInnerWorldWork You can help me feel safe again.. ·Stay with me,don't leave me alone ·Tell me I'′m ok and thatlam safe ·with you ·Watching TV ·Deep breathing ·Spinning on a swing,climbing and hanging ·Rolling or cycling down a hill ·Digging in the garden or in some sand ·Jumping on a trampoline ·Carry out the chore you have asked me to do with me ·Gently wonder where l have gone and invite me back to the room ·IfI have forgotten what I was supposed to be doing,remind me again gently ·Hot chocolate and a piece of crunchy toast ·A nice warm bath and a warm towel ·Put a soft teddy in bed with me What I look like in Flight. · Hyperactive,manic,giddy,silly · Aggressive,threatening:stiffening up or clenching fists · Running away,escaping,disappearing,hiding under the table/bed/sofa · Clumsy · Dis

FAQs

What does “Freeze” look like in someone’s behavior?

Freeze can show as boredom or disinterest, confusion and forgetfulness, distraction and not listening, clumsiness, moving you on from tasks, and staying still or zoning out.

What is happening inside in the “Freeze” state?

During Freeze, heart rate and breathing can speed up while the brain slows down. The person may feel under attack, terrified, and try to find thoughts or cues that create safety, while noticing tone of voice and anxiety.

How can others help someone feel safe and regulated again?

Support includes staying close without leaving them alone, confirming they are okay and safe, using calm activities like deep breathing or gentle sensory movement, gently reminding them of tasks, and offering comfort such as warm food, a bath, or a teddy in bed.

Aug 26, 2026

Upload by Mia