Never Chase a Man - Do THIS Instead

Oct 28, 2026

Live-stream style relationship guidance explaining the difference between effort in a connection and “chasing” someone. The talk defines chasing as trying to convince a partner who has ended or is withdrawing from the relationship, contrasts it with mutual investment, and warns against confusing chemistry or sexual conquest with a committed purpose. It reframes attraction as aligned effort, highlights why many people “wing it” without understanding healthy relationship mechanics, and previews five steps to encourage investment.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryLifestyle

FormatPDF

Pages8

Reading Time12 min

AccessFree to download

Never Chase a Man - Do This Instead

Effort vs chasing

Why many people “wing it”

What makes a guy invest

Preview of five things

Q&A

Never Chase a Man. Do THIS Instead… Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Aslay of Jonathon Aslay.com and I'm so excited to be shooting a live stream for you today. Our topic: Never Chase a Guy... Do This Instead! Now really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. And during the course of this video, if the content resonates with you, I please ask you to hit that like button so more people get it in their queue so they can see it. So I really appreciate that. Okay. For those who know me know that I like to just jump right into the topic in the beginning. I'll repeat it again a little bit later on, and then we're going to go to Q and A. So just as a reminder, we'll do content first. And then we'll do Q and A. So that's the best part. In fact, that's what most people stay for. So I'm really happy about that. So let's talk about chasing. So it's interesting to me, you know, there's different perceptions on the idea of chase. And I want to differentiate between the idea of putting an effort into a relationship versus chasing someone. So let's differentiate the two. Let me give you an example. If somebody makes effort in the relationship, then the other person should make effort basically commensurate with the effort that the other person is making so that we call that effort. Sometimes that's also called investment. . That includes time. That includes energy. That includes your financial resources, whatever that is when you make effort. It's different than chasing, but we oftentimes, sometimes women get characterized as chasing a guy when they're simply making effort. So when I get asked questions, like, is it chasing a guy ifI ask a guy out? Absolutely not. That's simply making effort. Is it chasing a guy if I'm wanting, you know, if I ask where the relationship is going? No. Simply making effort. Chasing looks a little more like this. And I think this is where we have to address the difference is that let's say a man that you're in relationship starts pulling away. Okay. And he's basically giving you the signs he's going to breakup. Chasing looks like trying to convince him that he's wrong. Let me repeat that chasing is convincing someone they're wrong. In fact, I had a woman once I was working with who the man she was with, broke up with her and she went on saying, well, can I have a chance to talk to you? I mean, we need some closure. And during the conversation, she was reciting all the reasons why he was wrong for breaking up. Okay. That's chasing because someone has went another direction. They've ended the relationship with you and she's trying to convince him he's wrong. Okay. Now we, we differentiate and now let me go back to this idea of chase, you know, there's this grand expectation that men are supposed to chase women. Well, as I said earlier, there's a big difference between making effort into a relationship, because let me tell you something, ladies, a man who puts effort into dating, making plans, doing things. If he's not seeing corresponding effort from a woman, he's by the way, let me just say this. A high quality guy is going to go the other direction. Now a low quality guy is the guy who's chasing sex. And men often chase sex, even high quality guys are drawn from the sexual component, but there's a big difference because when someone's chasing sex, they're not necessarily interested in a committed relationship. They're just in it for the conquest. And I know many of you ladies have heard how men are the hunters and they love the chase and they love the conquest. Yes. It's singular to the idea of getting laid. It's not necessarily, I want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship. I want to differentiate though for a moment, men that are in their twenties and their thir-- And by the way, I'll get to those five things that a woman could do. But a man in his twenti

FAQs

How does the talk distinguish making effort from chasing?

Making effort means both people contribute time, energy, and resources at a level that matches investment. Chasing is portrayed as trying to convince someone they are wrong after they choose another direction or end the relationship.

What does chasing look like when a man is pulling away?

It is described as attempting to argue him out of his decision—seeking closure while listing reasons he is wrong for breaking up, rather than accepting the shift and focusing on what the relationship requires.

Why does the speaker say commitment is hard for many couples?

The talk claims that most people lack understanding of the “mechanics” of a healthy relationship and therefore date without a common cause, leading to frustration and misaligned expectations.

Oct 28, 2026

Upload by Riley West