Mitch Murray's One-Liners for Business - and how to use them in your speech

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by awa

A practical guide for turning business speeches into memorable, amusing performances using hundreds of adaptable joke ideas and one-liners. The book teaches how to craft successful speech content, from timing and style to starting, editing, padding, linking, and maintaining originality. It also covers delivery tactics, introductions and closings, and strategies for handling specific workplace audiences such as finance, media, customers, lawyers, and bosses.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryLiterature

FormatPDF

Pages232

Reading Time5 h 57 min

AccessFree to download

Introduction

1 The Importance of Not Being Earnest

2 How to Use This Book

3 Timing and Style

4 Starting to Write

5 Editing, Padding and Linking

6 Originality

7 Notes, Script or Memory?

8 A Very Sneaky Ploy

9 This Time, Even HLCAN’T Help You With Your Delivery

10 Hello Mike!

11 Booze... J’Accuse!

12 Ready to Roll

13 Get the Max

Welcome to One-Linerland

Accountants and Finance Directors

Advertising

Advice

Ambition

Awards, Prizes and Trophies

Bad News

Bad Payers

Bald Heads and Hairy Wigs

Bastards

Bereavement and Illness

Booze'n'Boozers

Bores

The Boss...

...If The Boss Is You

Budgets

Mitch Murray'd ONE-LINERSFOR BUSINESSAD HOW TO USE THEMIN YOUR SPEECHMu Britain'top composer offunny,funny opeecbeo.' You've got to make a speech.Or is it a sales presentation? The circumstances don't matter. You are going to have to stand up,say your piece and be measured in public. And you'll be expected to be amusing too! Calm yourself!Help is at hand.Well in your hand actually!This book will turn your speech into a personal triumph. Mitch Murray is one of Britain's bestspeechwriters.If you were to commissiona speech from him it would cost hundredsof pounds Here you have his DIY kit.And after youhave used it successfully,you will knowthat it is worth its weight in gold! In this book,you'll be taught the How to'sof making a very successful speech and youwill find hundreds of ideas for jokes andone-liners to adapt or import for almostany purpose. Some of the targets in your sights,perhaps? ★ The Finance Guys ★ Bankers ★Prizes ★ The Media ★ Bad Payers ★Lawyers ★The Boss… ★Tight-fisted ★Maybe that's you!★Sales ★ Conferences ★ Statistics ★ Customers ★ Stress ★ Consultants ★ Suppliers ★ Golf ★ Tax ★The Job ★ The Tribute Or57 more! f14.99 $29.95 USA Digitized by the Internet Archivein 2023 with funding fromKahle/Austin Foundation # MITCHMURRAY'SONE-LINERS FORBUSINESS and how to use themin your speech # MITCH MURRAY'SONE-LINERS FOR BUSINESS and how to use themin your speech foulsham The Publishing House,Bennetts Close,Cippenham,Slough,Berkshire,SL15AP,England. ISBN:0-572-02268-9 Copyright C1997 Mitch MurrayAll rights reserved. The Copyright Act prohibits(subject to certain very limited exceptions)the making of copies of any copyright work or of a substantial part ofsuch a work,including the making of copies by photocopying or similarprocess.Written permission to make a copy or copies must thereforenormally be obtained from the publisher in advance.It is advisable alsoto consult the publisher if in any doubt as to the legality of any copyingwhich is to be undertaken. Edited by Carole Chapman Typeset in Great Britian by CBS,Felixstowe,Suffolk. Printed in Great Britain by St.Edmundsbury Press,Bury St.Edmunds,Suffolk. Introduction 9 1THEIMPORTANCE OFNOT BEINGEARNEST11 2HOW TO USE THIS BOOK15 3TIMING AND STYLE17 4STARTINGTOWRITE21 5 EDITING,PADDING ANDLINKING27 6ORIGINALITY33 7NOTES,SCRIPT ORMEMORY?39 8 AVERYSNEAKYPLOY45 9THIS TIME,EVENDHLCAN’THELPYOUWITHYOUR DELIVERY47 10HELLOMIKE!51 11BOOZE...J'ACCUSE!53 12READYTOROLL57 13GETTHEMAX59 14 WELCOMETO ONE-LINERLANDAccountants and Finance Directors 61Advertising 64Advice 67Ambition 69 Awards,Prizes and Trophies 70Bad News 72Bad Payers 74 Bald Heads and Hairy Wigs 75Bastards 76 Bereavement and Illness 78Booze'n'Boozers 81Bores 83 The Boss...84 ...If The Boss Is You 88Budgets 89 Busy,Busy,Busy!90Cars and Drivers 91Charity 91Clichés 97Closings 99Competitors 102Computers 103 Conferences and Meetings 106The Corporate Wimp 108Customers 109Definitions 109Education 111Ego 112 Emcee Lines 114Executives 116 Experts and Consultants 117Filth and Naughtiness 119Golf and Other Sports 122 Green Issues and Recycled Tissues 126Grunge and Gucci 127 Has-Beens and Zimmer-Surfers 129Heckling 130 International Affairs 133Investments 136

FAQs

What is the purpose of Mitch Murray’s one-liners for business speeches?

It helps speakers make business speeches amusing and successful by providing hundreds of one-liners and joke ideas to adapt or import for many situations.

What does the book teach besides writing the material?

It covers timing, style, editing, originality, and choices around notes, scripts, or memory, plus delivery guidance for public performance.

Are the joke ideas tailored to specific business audiences or topics?

Yes. The One-Linerland section lists many targets and themes such as finance, advertising, customers, lawyers, competitors, conferences, and stress, suggesting material can be matched to context.

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by awa