Lost Innocence - My Journey from Addiction to Recovery

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by Rizky

Lost Innocence: My Journey from Addiction to Recovery traces a personal descent into substance abuse and the aftermath of professional and personal collapse. Beginning with a specific night in 2008, the narrative reflects on unemployment, lost savings, and mounting emotional strain. It recounts how coping shifted from drinking to pain medication, the erosion of self-esteem, and the author’s repeated attempts to start over before seeking a path toward sobriety and rebuilding life with support from family, friends, and recovery communities.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryStory & Novel

FormatPDF

Pages64

Reading Time1 h 39 min

AccessFree to download

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

CHAPTER 1 THE BEGINNING

September 24th, 2008, 2:00am

Unemployment, stock options, and WorldCom

Emotional strain and coping through alcohol

Transition to painkillers

# Lost innocence My Journey From Addiction to Recovery Merrit Hartblay ost iocence # Lost Innocence My Journey from Addiction toRecovery Merrit Hartblay Published by Merrit Hartblay 42nd Street Greenvale,NY 11548 All rights reserved.No copyrighted portions or aspects ofthis book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or byany means,electronic or mechanical,including photocopying,recording,video or by any information and retrieval system,without prior written permission ofMerrit Hartblay,42nd Street,Greenvale,NY 11548. ◎2020 Merrit Hartblay Manufactured in the United States of America ISBN 9798670647342 paperback # ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This book is dedicated to all of the people who havestruggled with drug addiction,the strong ones who keepcoming back to 12 step meetings and to the families whonever give up,as well as the countless men and women whohave dedicated their lives to understanding and treatingaddiction at rehabs,hospitals and outpatient treatmentcenters.To the people who have traveled in my footstepswho,when they have fallen,have been able to let themselvesrise from the ashes to rebuild their lives.One of the greatestgifts of sobriety is having the chance to live two lives in onelifetime! This book is dedicated to my loving and caring family,especially my son Trevor,who has been a huge part of mysobriety.To my dear friends A1 Voss,Gary Truce and BettyAnn Gaube and the rest of my Binghamton Universityfamily.To my dear friend Peter Hoppenfeld,who was therefor me at the lowest point of my life and lifted me up so that I could find the path to recovery.To my dear sister Sharon,who has been there for me during my darkest times. To Claudia Ragni,who has always supported me and beenthere for me as well as the entire Ken Peters Center forRecovery family.To Louise Hay,whose teachings encouraged me to never give up,to challenge myself to bethe person I was always meant to be.To my entire AA familywithout whose support,this book would not have beenpublished.To Mark Armiento,who taught me that you needto always follow your heart and to never let anyone tell youwhat you can or cannot do-to always know where Waldo is!To my family at Outreach who gave me the best drugcounseling education possible and later the opportunity togive it back by becoming a lecturer and student advisor. And finally,to Jess.Our paths crossed as a godsend.Thisbook would not have been published if not for her wisdomand guidance and her belief in me!I am very grateful! To the countless individuals out there who never stoppedbelieving in me,my gratitude goes to you. We are all on this journey together! # CHAPTER 1THE BEGINNING Reflecting on how I had gotten to this place in my life.Thiswas one of the hardest things I ever had to do,but it was thefirst step that I had to take to begin to free myselffrom mypast. September 24th,2008,2:00am. , I have been sleeping on the couch in the living room for overa year now.My son is up in his room and his mother is inhers.Unable to sleep,I am drinking from a bottle of vintageport wine;trying to understand how and why my life hadunraveled.I had been out of work now for several monthsand drinking had become my new hobby. My most recent job was again,"a dream job";but like thosebefore,I had sabotaged it because my ego and self-will got inthe way.It has pretty much been like this ever since June 22,2002,when the company I was working for,WorldCom,tooka mighty tumble and literally went from Chapter 7 to Chapter11 overnight. —1 I had been a senior level manager at the time and had accumulated a significant amount of stock options over theyears.At WorldCom,management success was recognizedby rewarding stock options.Foolishly,I had put all mysavings and bonus monies back into the company and the401K plan.When the end came,I lost everything.I wentfrom a six-figure salary to unemployment and I fell with amighty thud. Up to this point,I didn't think my drinking was a probl

FAQs

What prompted the author to reflect on their life at the start of the book?

The opening chapter focuses on reflecting on how they reached that place in life and treating it as the first step toward freeing themselves from their past.

What key events contributed to the author’s downward spiral?

The narrative links the fall in their career and the loss of savings after WorldCom’s collapse to later unemployment, heavy drinking, and worsening emotional distress.

How does the author describe their coping process as addiction deepened?

The author explains that drinking was used to become numb, later intensifying as pain killers entered the picture, alongside drinking and self-sabotage.

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by Rizky