LifeSucks - The Story So Far - sample excerpt

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by Theodore

“LifeSucks” by Anne Rooney introduces Juliette, Omar, Finn, Ruby, and Alistair as they discover a dead body in a forest, then suffer sickness after tying their murderer Ava to a tree. When they wake, they are vampires and encounter Ignace, a sophisticated nobleman over 400 years old who stops them from snacking on her. The narrative follows their crash course in becoming modern vampires, illustrated by Finn’s confrontation with Lorenzo, “a good one” appointed to watch Ignace and Finn.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryStory & Novel

FormatPDF

Pages84

Reading Time2 h 9 min

AccessFree to download

The Story So Far

Events leading to vampirehood

Ignace and the crash course

Finn and Lorenzo's encounter

LifSucks AN NE RO0NEY Digitized by the Internet Archivein 2022 with funding fromKahle/Austin Foundation Anne Rooney does not eat meat,incase the taste of blood becomes tooappealing. When not writing books she hauntsthe cemeteries and catacombs of Parisand Venice and raises non-vampiricdaughters and chickens in Cambridge.She studied at a haunted college andher first car was a haunted van;theundead hold no fears for her. 939532586 DB With thanks to Kate and Hannah Frew,Mary Hoffman,Shahrukh Husain,Harriet Riley and Andrew Laws(@Andrew_Culture). # LifeSucks by Anne Rooneywww.annerooney.co.uk Published by Ransom Publishing Ltd. Radley House,8 St.Cross Road,Winchester,Hants.SO239HX,UKwww.ransom.co.uk ISBN 9781841672984 First published in 2012 Copyright 2012 Ransom Publishing Ltd.Text copyright ◎2012 Anne RooneyImages copyright ◎Marcin Rychly,naten(cover);UteHil ACIP catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library. The right of Anne Rooney to be identified as the author of this Work hasbeen asserted by her in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of theCopyright,Design and Patents Act 1988. Sic A NNE RO0NEY Ranswm # The Story So Far Hungary,August... Juliette,Omar,Finn,Ruby and Alistairfind a dead body in the forest... ..Twenty-four hours later,they tie themurderer,Ava,to a tree,as one by onethey fall sick .. …When they wake,they are vampires,and that murderer looks ratherappealing .. …Mysterious nobleman Ignace,400 years old and more sophisticated than isgood for him,prevents them snacking onher ... ….But that dead body isn't as dead as itlooked... .….They go to Ignace's castle for acrash-course in being a modern vampire. And so their adventures begin. ne The sound of crunching bones set Finn's teethon edge.He could have coped with the rest-atleast until the lunatic slurped the marrow fromthe cracked bones.But that splintering sound-itjust wasn't good. 'Cut it out,dude!'Finn called from the window.The figure below carried on crunching andslurping. 'What are you eating,anyway?'he asked.'Is ithuman?' No.Eez cow.Much trouble ifIeat human persons. 'Do you have a name?'Finn asked.'Do youremember it?' 'My name eezLorenzo.'He made a sucking noise.Finn didn't like to imagine what he was sucking. 'That's disgusting,man!Do you have to?' Lorenzo carried on with his meal. 'How long are you going to be following mearound?I don't need a minder-especially not amad,cow-sucking minder.' 'You do,'Lorenzo said through a mouthful offlesh.'Mister Ignace,he say I have to look after you.You are Finn Casey,yes?I have right vampire?He say I am a good one for you because you andme,we are both mad.Eez funny,no?He thinksyou as mad as me!' 'No,it's not funny,it's a right insult!I'′m not asmad as you-you're a screwball cow-sucker andI'’m just angry.Will you be following me home?My mam’s not going to be too pleased if Iturn upwith a mad vampire in tow. 'But you are mad vampire also.She not so pleased with that,eh?Lady have two mad vampireswhen she expected none.Eez big shock for her,no?' Finn slammed the window.He had one morenight in the hostel.The others had gone.After thedisastrous camping trip,Ignace had taken them tohis castle for a crash course in being a vampire.He

FAQs

What events lead Juliette and the others to become vampires?

They find a dead body in a forest, tie the murderer Ava to a tree, and then fall sick. When they wake up twenty-four hours later, they are vampires.

Who is Ignace and what does he do?

Ignace is a mysterious nobleman over 400 years old. He prevents the group from snacking on her and takes them to his castle for training in being modern vampires.

What conflict happens in Finn’s scene involving Lorenzo?

Finn hears crunching bones and confronts a figure eating, asking what he is eating and whether it is human. Lorenzo reveals his name and continues, while Finn objects to being followed by a “minder,” escalating their disagreement.

Sep 29, 2026

Uploaded by Theodore