“I THINK A WOMAN CAN TAKE IT” - WIDOWED MEN’S VIEWS AND EXPERIENCES OF GENDER DIFFERENCES IN BEREAVEMENT

Aug 25, 2026

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The paper examines whether older widowed men’s views and bereavement experiences align with gendered ideas of coping, and whether these patterns can be explained through masculinity. It reports men’s beliefs that women cope better, linking this to assumptions about domestic competence, social skills, and men’s limited emotional communication. Analyses of men’s actual experiences reveal greater social engagement, varied domestic abilities, perceived support differences, and unexpected higher depressive experiences, arguing for a masculinity framework that accounts for diversity and social change.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryResearch & Report

FormatPDF

Pages17

Reading Time43 min

AccessFree to download

Introduction

Background and research questions

Masculinity and emotional expression

Empirical evidence and explanations

“I THINK A WOMAN CAN TAKE IT”: WIDOWED MEN’S VIEWS AND EXPERIENCES OF GENDER DIFFERENCES IN BEREAVEMENT KATE M. BENNETT, GEORGINA M. HUGHES, AND PHILIP T. SMITH Do the views and experiences of older widowed men regarding widowhood agree, and can they be explained in terms of notions of masculinity? Older widowed men were asked whether they believed men or women coped better. They were also asked about their own experiences. The paper discusses the similarities and differences between the views and experiences of these widowed men within a framework of masculinity. Men believe that women are better equipped to deal with widowhood. They explain this in terms of women’s domestic abilities and social skills, and men’s inability to talk about their emotions. These views can be understood in terms of masculinity. However, analysis of their experiences suggests that the picture is more complex. Men were found to be as socially engaged as women. Men showed a range of domestic abilities: some were keen cooks and houseproud, while others relied on ready meals and family support. Women believed that men received more support than they did; this was confirmed. Unexpectedly, men reported more depressive experiences than women. It is argued that the experiences of widowed men may be understood in a masculinity framework, if one incorporates notions of diversity and social change. Introduction Widowhood among older men is often overlooked, both empirically and theoretically. This stems in part from the numerical superiority of older widowed women, but also in part from an emphasis on women’s studies. Although there are more women, the numbers of widowed older men are not insignificant: in the United Kingdom 24% of men aged between 75 and 84 years are widowed, as are 45% of men aged 85 years and over (Grundy, 1996) . In addition, while the effects of widowhood on morbidity, mortality, Ageing International, Fall 2003, Vol. 28, No. 4, p. 408-424. Bennett, Hughes, and Smith 409 and depression are marked for both women and men, there is a widely held view that men fare worse (Stroebe & Stroebe, 1983; Stroebe, Stroebe, & Schut, 2001) . This raises a number of questions. First, where does the view come from? Second, is it supported empirically? Third, what explanations can account for it? And finally, do theories of masculinity offer additional explanatory power? The popular view that men fare worse following the loss of their spouse comes from at least two sources. The first is from a long tradition in literature. In Greek myth, Orpheus goes to the underworld to beg Pluto for the return of Eurydice. In Elizabeth Gaskell’s Mary Barton (1848), when his wife dies, Mr. Barton turns (at least for a while) to opium for solace. The second source is anecdotes from popular culture. One example is the death of the football legend Sir Stanley Matthews, aged 85, in 2000. He was playing professional football well into his 40s and remained physically fit. However, his death followed barely a year after his wife died, and many suggested that he died of a broken heart. While men may believe that they fare worse, is this supported empirically? Researchers have argued so for the last 40 years at least (Kraus & Lilienfeld, 1959; Parkes, 1972) . Parkes (1972) discusses the issue of mortality and the broken heart, particularly among men. He suggests that the excess of mortality among widowers can be explained by increases in heart-related deaths– literally “broken hearts.” Stroebe and Stroebe (1983), in a classic review, argue that the proposition that men fare worse is on balance sustainable, even if the evidence for it is not strong. In a more recent review, these authors found that when methodologically sophisticated studies alone are considered, widowers fare substantially worse then their female counterparts (Stroebe, Stroebe,& Schut, 2001) . They point, for instance, to the work of Umberson, Wortman, and Kessler (1992), who found that when wi

FAQs

Older widowed men were asked about what in the study?

They were asked whether they believed men or women coped better after bereavement, and they were also asked about their own experiences.

How do the men in the paper explain why they think women cope better?

They attribute women’s better coping to domestic abilities and social skills, and to men’s difficulty in talking about emotions.

What does the paper find when comparing men’s experiences to women’s?

Men show social engagement similar to women, a range of domestic abilities, receive more perceived support than women (confirmed), and unexpectedly report more depressive experiences than women.

Aug 25, 2026

Upload by Sarah