How to Stop Spiralling - Part 1 - What’s Holding You Back

Aug 7, 2026

Uploaded by Violet

How to Stop Spiralling addresses how early trauma-trained safety strategies can solidify into limiting daily habits, reducing freedom in work, relationships, and self-expression. Using clinical insight, extensive research, and Dr Rebecca Ray’s lived experience, the book guides readers to recognize, reframe, and reset recurring behavioural loops through a simple four-step mental exercise. Chapters explore sabotage, coping costs, attachment versus alignment, and cravings for closeness, offering compassionate direction toward a more creative, loving life.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryHealthcare

FormatPDF

Pages273

Reading Time11 h 28 min

AccessFree to download

Preface

Introduction

PART ONE: WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK

Chapter 1: This might be a trauma response

Chapter 2: The safety behind the sabotage

Chapter 3: The cost of coping

Chapter 4: It’s a loop, not a life sentence

Chapter 5: Don’t confuse attachment for alignment

Chapter 6: Craving closeness, settling for sex

PART TWO: HOW TO STOP SPIRALLING

Chapter 7: Pause

Chapter 8: Name

Chapter 9: Choose

Chapter 10: Claim

Chapter 11: I’ve got me

About How to Stop Spiralling ‘The consequences of big trauma often show up in the smallest cracks of daily life. In how tightly we grip. In how quickly we snap. In how deeply we fear letting go.’ As children, we make choices that keep us safe in unsafe circumstances. As we grow, these learned responses start to limit us, inhibiting our ability to live the lives we crave. We may find ourselves: Self-numbing with the use of addictive substances Procrastinating to avoid the anxiety of a decision Losing our temper with those we love Chasing perfectionism at the cost of completion People pleasing to the point of exhaustion. Drawing on clinical insight, extensive research and her own lived experience, Dr Rebecca Ray has developed a simple four-step mental exercise to help us recognise, reframe and reset these limiting behavioural spirals, whether at work, at home, or with loved ones, colleagues or strangers. Honest, insightful, raw and compassionate, How to Stop Spiralling is your guide to saying goodbye to the habitual chaos of trauma and welcoming a bigger, more loving, more creative way to live your life. [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com) Also by Dr Rebecca Ray Be Happy The Universe Listens to Brave TheArt of Self-Kindness Breakthrough Setting Boundaries Believe Small Habits for a Big Life Good, Great, Perfect Difficult People So Emotional! [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com) [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com) For you (and me). My readers, clients, listeners and viewers. You are not what happened to you. You are the author of what happens next. You can’t see it yet, but damn, you’re incredible. I’ve got you, until you can trust that you’ve got yourself. And you will, because that’s what happens when you learn to be on your own side. For you (and me), before. It was never your fault. Something bad happened to you, but you are not bad. I will never abandon you. I will always choose in the service of your safety, alignment and growth. I’ve got you. You are soft and strong. You are courageous and connected. You are here and held. For you (and me), today. The choice is yours, because you created the space for it. [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com) This book was written on the lands of the Jinibara and Kabi Kabi (Gubbi Gubbi) peoples. I pay my deepest respect to their Elders past, present and emerging and the ancient wisdom and connection to First Nations peoples that this land holds. [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com) Contents Cover About How to Stop Spiralling Also by Dr Rebecca Ray Title page Dedication Acknowledgement of Country Contents Preface Introduction PART ONE: WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK Chapter 1: This might be a trauma response Chapter 2: The safety behind the sabotage Chapter 3: The cost of coping Chapter 4: It’s a loop, not a life sentence Chapter 5: Don’t confuse attachment for alignment Chapter 6: Craving closeness, settling for sex PART TWO: HOW TO STOP SPIRALLING Chapter 7: Pause Chapter 8: Name Chapter 9: Choose Chapter 10: Claim Chapter 11: I’ve got me Acknowledgements References About Dr Rebecca Ray Copyright page Newsletter [OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)

FAQs

What causes the behavioral “spirals” described in the book?

The book explains that childhood choices can create safety responses in unsafe circumstances, and later these learned responses can limit life choices as adults grow.

What method does Dr Rebecca Ray use to help readers stop spiralling?

Dr Rebecca Ray provides a simple four-step mental exercise to recognize, reframe, and reset limiting behavioural spirals.

How does the book frame recurring patterns—are they permanent?

The book presents spirals as loops rather than a life sentence, emphasizing the ability to pause, name, choose, and claim a new way of living.

Aug 7, 2026

Uploaded by Violet