Couples Sensate Focus Program - Leaflet No. 505 - Edition 1

Sep 22, 2026

Couples Sensate Focus is a guided approach to build trust and intimacy within a relationship by emphasizing positive emotions, physical sensations, and responsive communication. The program reduces negative reactions to intimacy and supports both partners in giving and receiving pleasure. Sessions typically last twenty to sixty minutes, two to three times weekly over six or more weeks. It progresses through non-genital, genital, and penetrative phases with clear ground rules and partner-controlled pacing.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryHealthcare

FormatPDF

Pages2

Reading Time5 min

AccessFree to download

What is sensate focus?

Phase one: non-genital sensate focus

Phase two: genital sensate focus

Phase three: penetrative sensate focus

• Then introduce touching of the genitals themselves (the labia, clitoris and entrance to the vagina on a woman; the penis, shaft and glans on a man) . • After a while you may also want to incorporate oral as well as manual touching (kissing, licking and sucking) into both nongenital and genital touching. • You may want to try the ‘teasing technique’. Manually stimulate the other person’s genitals, gently at first then increase the speed of stimulation. Take a rest for a few minutes and then begin again. • If orgasm occurs at this or later stages, that is fine, but that is not the aim of the process. Phase three: penetrative sensate focus Ground rules: • Having spent some time on non-genital and genital sensate focus you can begin to include penetration, using fingers, toys and the penis. • Continue to pay attention to the other parts of the body that you explored in the previous sessions. • The person being penetrated should be in control of the depth of penetration and the amount of time spent on it. • While orgasm and intercourse is permitted in this phase, this is not the goal: the aim remains to enjoy the growing intimacy between you. Instructions: • First begin to incorporate forms of gentle penetration, initially try this with little or no thrusting, just enjoying the sensation of containment. • Try it first with one person on top and then the other. • Later you can incorporate more thrusting, again with the person being penetrated in control. If you need help to understand this leaflet or would like it in a different language or format such as large print, Braille or audio, please ask a member of staff. • You might find some books of sexual positions useful at this point so you can find out which positions are most comfortable and pleasurable for you, according to the part of the body being caressed. Date implemented: June 2018 Review date: June 2020 Leaflet No. 505-Edition 1 [www.leicspart.nhs.uk](www.leicspart.nhs.uk) Email: [feedback@leicspart.nhs.uk](feedback@leicspart.nhs.uk) Couples sensate focus program Department of medical psychology The aim of sensate focus is to build trust and intimacy within your relationship, helping you to give and receive pleasure. It emphasizes positive emotions, physical feelings and responses while reducing any negative reactions. Medical Psychology Hadley House Leicester General Hospital Gwendolen Road Leicester LE5 4PW Tel: 0116 295 4555 Medical Psychology Oliver Ward Victoria Building Leicester Royal Infirmary Infirmary Square Leicester LE1 5WW Tel: 0116 258 5227 | What is sensate focus? | | --- | | The program can help overcome any fear of failure that may have existed previously, building a more satisfying sexual relationship in which both partners feel able to ask for what they want and are able to give and receive pleasure.
Sensate focus is not a race to an end. Continuous reinforcement is needed to overcome negative reactions to intimacy.
How long you spend on the program is up to you. Typically, sessions last twenty to sixty minutes, two to three times a week, spread over six or more weeks.
Ground rules:
• Choose a time and place acceptable to both of you, where you won’tbe disturbed.
• Make the surroundings as pleasant as possible, choosing music, lighting and aromas to suit you.
• Turn off the phone and, if necessary, lock the door.
• Take turns giving and receiving touch, allowing equal time for each of you.
• The goal is enjoyment and pleasure. Enjoy the journey rather than aiming towards any specific destination.
• Take as long as you want over each phase. Often, the slower you take it, the more you will get out of it.
• Only move from one stage to the next when both partners agree.
Instructions:
• When it is your turn to touch, take plenty of time to explore the other person’s body. Experiment with different sensations and types of touch. Take pleasure in experiencing the tex

FAQs

What is the main aim of sensate focus for couples?

Sensate focus aims to build trust and intimacy by encouraging positive emotions and physical sensations while reducing negative reactions during sexual activity.

How long are sessions and how often do couples meet?

Sessions typically last twenty to sixty minutes, two to three times a week, spread over six or more weeks. How long the program takes depends on the couple.

What are the rules for moving through the three phases?

Only move from one stage to the next when both partners agree. Each turn emphasizes taking time to explore, giving and receiving touch equally, and communicating preferences and dislikes constructively.

Sep 22, 2026

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