Be With - Letters to a Carer

Oct 13, 2026

Upload by SANS

Be With - Letters to a Carer is a personal, literary account shaped by the experience of dementia and the role of caregivers. Mike Barnes speaks in a calming, authoritative voice that emphasizes fellowship, accurate witness, and the practice of simply being present. The book explores how dementia disrupts life while also revealing capacities that may endure, including sensitive awareness, resilience, and joyful relatedness. It offers reflective questions and insists that in-person presence is the most caring and the least regrettable.

LanguageEnglish

CategoryLiterature

FormatPDF

Pages164

Reading Time4 h 13 min

AccessFree to download

Letters to a Carer

Mike Barnes and the caregiving perspective

Presence, witness, and resilient capacities

Publication and bibliographic information

"Timely,lyrical,tough,accurate. Margaret Atwood BeWith # Letters to a Carer Mike Barnes A book that tells the reader that youare not alone,whoever you are.Kirkus Reviews This compelling personal story unfolds aside of dementia almost entirely missingfrom public discussion. Calming and contemplative yet fiercelyalive,Mike Barnes'consoling,humaneand surprisingly uplifting book balancescandour about the devastations of dementiawith insights into the ways in which it callsforth capacities long-buried by the defencesof full cognition: Depths of sensitive awareness,resilience rising to heroism,anda capacity for joyful relatedness? Addressed to carers but relevant and deeplyimportant for us all,Be With encourages usto focus on fellowshipand accurate witness:to simply be with who,and what,is actuallybefore us. A friendly,authoritative voicein the dark that will lead itsat-the-end-of-their-tether listenersthrough to the endgame? Literary Review of Canada 38001800543195HIGH LIFE HIGHLAND ‘M,het lodad in mv throat and mv eves flinching work reflecting on an awful,inexor-able illness.Physician offices would do well bystocking copies.Mike Barnes shares knowledge("The truth is,there's no graceful way to takecontrol of someone's life away from them”)and he asks questions("How much room inyour own heart?")any caregiver must consider.He also asserts his primary insight:“But beingwith in person trumps all else.It's the one wayof caring most likely to be right,and the leastlikely to be regretted.”’ —Toronto Star 'The particulars of Mary's dementia givethis brief book universal appeal.The authoreffectively humanizes himself as a man whohas made errors,who wishes he had done thingsdifferently,and who has his own psychologicalburdens to bear...A book that tells the readerthat you are not alone,whoever you are.' Kirkus Reviews 'In their simplicity and even-handed tone,theletters achieve their author's difficult aim:theypresent as a literary Third Man,a friendly,authoritative voice in the dark that will lead itsat-the-end-of-their-tether listeners through tothe endgame...Barnes has been moved andamazed by his mother's courage and effort,how she has learned to be a new person.Whatreally matters,he concludes,is the hardestthing,being there with her.“For every thou-sand pages describing how living is shattered bythis dread disease,there should be at least onepage observing how living goes on within it.”Be With has 156 pages of them.' # —Literary Review of Canada Mike Barnes is an award-winning authorwhose stories have appeared twice in BestCanadian Stories,three times in The JourneyPrize Anthology,and have won the SilverMedal for Fiction at the National MagazineAwards.He lives in Toronto. Be With # Letters to a Carer Mike Barnes | HIGLIFE
HICHte BRARIES | | | --- | --- | | 3801800543195 | | | BERTRAMS | 20/02/2019 | | 362133 | £89g | | ANE | | First published in the UK 2019 byMyriad Editionswww.myriadeditions.com Myriad Editions An imprint of New Internationalist PublicationsThe Old Music Hall,106-108 Cowley Rd,Oxford OX41JE First printing13579108642 Originally published in Canada by Biblioasis Copyright O Mike Barnes 2018The moral right of the author has been asserted Every attempt has been made to obtain the necessarypermissions for use of copyright material.If there have beenany omissions,we apologise and will be pleased to makeappropriate acknowledgement in any future edition All rights reserved.No part of this publication maybe reproduced,stored in a retrieval system,or transmittedin any form or by any means without the written permissionof the publisher,nor be otherwise circulated in any form ofbinding or cover other than that in which it is publishedand without a similar condition being imposed on thesubsequent purchaser A CIP catalogue record for this book isavailable from the British Library ISBN(pbk):978-1-912408-18-4 ISBN(ebk):978-1-912408-19-1 Design

FAQs

What is Be With - Letters to a Carer about?

It is a compelling personal story addressed to carers, shaped by life alongside dementia. The letters emphasize that you are not alone and encourage fellowship and accurate witness through presence.

How does the book describe the role of caregivers?

It stresses the importance of being with the person in person. The text argues that presence “trumps all else” as the way of caring most likely to be right.

What kinds of capacities does the book say can endure despite dementia?

It highlights sensitive awareness, resilience rising toward heroism, and joyful relatedness. The letters focus on how living may continue within the disease.

Oct 13, 2026

Upload by SANS