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The college admission counselor's responsibility is to shape this initial attempt into a well-written essay that impresses admissions officers. Below is a sample essay that the student brought for editing.  \nUniversity of California: Prompt \\#3 – Original Draft  \nPrompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  \nConventional examples of a talent or skill would be being able to play an instrument, draw, or speak publicly. My talent, or skill, is being able to effectively communicate. Although it so unorthodox, it is important. When I was younger, I had trouble speaking to others and expressing my feelings, causing me to be a social recluse. I wanted to spend time with others but I did not know how. My fear of rejected combined with poor communication skills adversely affected my life. Finally, I decided that I would try to overcome my fear and work on speaking with others. I started to introduce myself to other people, even though I was deathly afraid of talking to others. Overcoming my fear was difficult, but I forced myself every time. I began to speak more to others and although I eventually developed the courage to talk to others, it did not mean that I effectively communicated. I still had certain childish tendencies, like ignoring others when I am angry, or refusing to listen to criticism. This negatively affected my relationships, but I understood what mistakes I was consistently making and I strove to change them. Many people feel embarrassed when apologizing, leading to the reluctance to do so. I did have this problem myself, but I strove to change this negative aspect. I started swallowing my pride and apologizing, whether or not I wanted to. Not only did I change my reluctance to apologize, but other petty behaviors as well. I became more straightforward with my problems and strove to better my character. Many would not consider effective communication a skill, as it seems like “talking” is just something everyone can do. However, they fail to consider whether or not they can effectively communicate. Effective communication is not the same as simply speaking, as one must develop certain traits to be able to effectively communicate. I had a communication problem since I was young, and so this skill is important for me because I managed to overcome something that plagued me for years.  \nIn the second step, the college admissions counselor will provide feedback on the essay's content, organization and structure, and style. The counselor will advise the student on areas for improvement and work with the student to address those concerns. The comments provided here (in blue balloons) are examples of the type of commentary given to the student.  \nUniversity of California: Prompt \\#3 – Original Draft with Comments  \nPrompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  \nConventional examples of a talent or skill would be being able to play an instrument, draw, or  speak publicly. My talent, or skill, is being able to effectively communicate. Although it so unorthodox, it is important. When I was younger, I had trouble speaking to others and  expressing my feelings, causing me to be a social recluse. I wanted to spend time with others  \nbut I did not know how. My fear of rejected combined with poor communication skills  adversely affected my life. Finally, I decided that I would try to overcome my fear and work on  \n\n| Comment [A1]: This essay needs to be separated into paragraphs so that distinct ideas (although they should be connected) are clear. |\n| --- |\n| Comment [A2]: Explain why you consider this skill \"unorthodox\" and how the non-traditional aspect shows its importance. |\n| Comment [A3]: Paint a picture using more colorful description. |\n\nspeaking with others. I","cbCaiaVMXsATyeOH","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaiaVMXsATyeOH","pdf",227742,6,"English","# University of California: Prompt 3 - Original Draft\n## Prompt questions and essay narrative\n## Admissions counselor feedback examples\n## Original draft with comments","[{\"question\":\"What prompt does the sample essay respond to?\",\"answer\":\"It answers: “What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?”\"},{\"question\":\"What greatest talent or skill does the student claim?\",\"answer\":\"The student states the skill is effectively communicating, despite viewing it as non-traditional compared with common examples like instruments or drawing.\"},{\"question\":\"What kinds of feedback does the admissions counselor provide?\",\"answer\":\"The counselor focuses on the essay’s content, organization and structure, and writing style, with example comments shown in blue.\"}]","University of California - Prompt 3 - Original Draft | PDF",1790087013]