[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"detail-sidebar-cat-1-en-105":3,"doc-seo-281089-105":53,"doc-detail-281089-en":127},{"code":4,"msg":5,"data":6},0,"success",[7,14,19,24,29,34,39,44,49],{"id":8,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":11,"show_sort_weight":12,"slug":13},11,1,"Template","Presentations",90,"presentations",{"id":15,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":16,"show_sort_weight":17,"slug":18},12,"Resumes",80,"resumes",{"id":20,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":21,"show_sort_weight":22,"slug":23},14,"Invoices",70,"invoices",{"id":25,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":26,"show_sort_weight":27,"slug":28},15,"Posters",60,"posters",{"id":30,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":31,"show_sort_weight":32,"slug":33},16,"Social Media",50,"social-media",{"id":35,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":36,"show_sort_weight":37,"slug":38},17,"Forms",40,"forms",{"id":40,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":41,"show_sort_weight":42,"slug":43},18,"Letters",30,"letters",{"id":45,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":46,"show_sort_weight":47,"slug":48},21,"Paper Templates",5,"papers-templates",{"id":50,"doc_module":9,"doc_module_name":10,"category_name":51,"show_sort_weight":4,"slug":52},158,"General","general-158",{"code":4,"msg":54,"data":55},"ok",{"site_id":56,"language":57,"slug":58,"title":59,"keywords":60,"description":61,"schema_data":62,"social_meta":120,"head_meta":122,"extra_data":124,"updated_unix":126},105,"en","redeemer-counseling-services-writing-letters-to-let-go-of-pain","Redeemer Counseling Services - Writing Letters to Let Go of Pain","","Writing letters to address relational pain helps individuals process trauma through three steps: the event, the person’s experience of the event, and its effect. The framework guides clients to name factual experiences in first person, identify associated emotions, and articulate the meaning and beliefs formed as a result. Support includes reading the letter aloud, gradual processing, and connecting the pain with God’s comfort. 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The goal of letter writing is to have the person write out their own experiences of this relationship regardless of whether or not the letter will ever be read by the addressee.  \nThe letter they will write helps them work through the three E’s of Trauma: the Event, the person’s Experience of the event, and the Effect. The way the person experienced the event may leave a lasting impact on the person’s view of self and the world, which is important to understand and process. Counselors often find that many Christians want to or are urged by others to speed through the hurts to get to forgiveness. Like putting a Band-Aid on an uncleaned, infected cut, this bypasses the needed steps and time to fully heal the wound. As caregivers, we want to reflect the compassion and comfort of Christ as we take the time needed for the person to do the valuable work of understanding and expressing the three E’s of their relational hurts before getting to forgiveness.  \nA helpful framework to guide the letter writing process is provided. Have people follow this guideline using first-person pronouns to make it personal.  \n1. This is what happened: We want those we work with to be able to name the factual events of the relationship that hurt them in the past. In working through this process, they may be able to recall specific events or themes they experienced from this particular person. Whether there was some kind of abuse, mistreatment, neglect, favoritism or betrayal, it is important to write these things down.  \nKeeping it in the first person, the person may want to indicate how old they were when a specific event occurred, or what they saw or experienced directly from one who hurt them.  \nAs they write the letter, they can choose how many specific events to include that impacted them significantly (e.g. ,“Dad, you left when I was three. Then, you did not even come to my high school graduation.”) Weare inviting them to name their core hurts, those repeated patterns of hurts that shape their unconscious beliefs.  \n© 2022 Redeemer Counseling Services  \n1  \nRaymond Corbo, LMFT  \n2. This is how I felt: After naming the factual events, it is important to help the person name the emotion associated with these experiences. We want those we are working with to label specific emotions, and hopefully to give appropriate color and context to the experience. We can encourage them to write out an emotion for each event that was named in the first section. Instead of saying, “I felt sad,” maybe they say, “I felt hopeless and alone.”If needed, a feeling chart may be used as a guide to help name emotions that are less common.  \n3. This is what it meant to me: This section may be harder for people to name than the other two, which makes sense. Many times, the person can be resistant to acknowledge that a relationship they have cut off or is in the past still affects them or that it ever did. We may need to help them understand why it is important.  \nIn this section, we want to help the person connect with the meaning that they unconsciously gave to these experiences—the Effect in the three E’s.  \nHow did the person see themselves, others, or even God as a result of this hurt? Did it contribute to not being able to trust? Did it encourage selfsufficiency? Did it reinforce that they were not wanted or not loveable? What did they decide to do as a result? (E.g. ,“Because you left, I now find it difficult to trust new people in my life. I often just try to work things out on my own.”)  \nOnce the person fully writes the above guidelines, have the person read the letter out loud. Saying the words they have written out loud often elicits the actual emotions they experienced. As these emotions come up, as caregivers, we just want to bear witness, validate and provide space for th","cbCaigPKC4XQjuqJ","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaigPKC4XQjuqJ","pdf",176369,"English","# Writing Letters to Let Go of Pain\n## Purpose of Letter Writing\n## The Three E’s of Trauma: Event, Experience, Effect\n## Guided Letter Framework\n## Reading Aloud and Processing\n## Forgiveness and Closing","[{\"question\":\"What is the main purpose of writing letters in this framework?\",\"answer\":\"The goal is to help people work through relational hurt by writing out their experiences, whether or not the letter is ever read by the addressee, so pain can be understood and processed toward healing and forgiveness.\"},{\"question\":\"What are the three E’s of trauma used to structure the letter?\",\"answer\":\"The three E’s are the Event, the person’s Experience of the event, and the Effect—how the experience shaped beliefs about self, others, and God.\"},{\"question\":\"How does the process move from identifying pain to forgiveness?\",\"answer\":\"After naming events, emotions, and effects, the person reads the letter aloud to elicit and process real emotions, then connects with God’s comfort. They may later write the forgiveness section, which can be specific and may be done when the person is ready.\"}]","Redeemer Counseling Services - Writing Letters to Let Go of Pain | PDF",1789564050]