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We have been learning about Londons gruesome past and all of the bloodiest things in history such as the guillotine , so I thought we should go to the London Dungeons.  \nNotes for student  \n● This is a good suggestion for a school trip Anaiya!  \n● You open your letter by saying what you want at the very start. This is straight to the point and good persuasion.  \n● To improve , remember when something belongs to someone or something you need to put an apostrophe before the ‘s’. For example “year’s” “London’s”.  \nFirstly , it will be an exhilarating experience (as I have been there myself) and according to research , ninety-nine-point nine percent of children enjoy a school trip with some fun rides. Also , the staff interact with you as if you are in the scene in the dungeons: We all love a bit of Drama! I know you are a very lovely teacher and you would try your utmost to give us the best knowledge. You should note , there are student packages in which you get free drinks and a special behind-the-scenes tour for two pounds extra per person! You are so kind and I know even you will enjoy this event.  \nNotes for student  \n● Great alliteration of ‘exhilaration experience’. This is also good use of tricky vocabulary , well done!  \n● You have used brackets and a colon well here.  \n● Wow Anaiya! Brilliant use of statistics and exaggeration! To improve , when you include a fact or statistic , try to give it a well-known source , like a newspaper or a government department , to make it seem more reliable.  \n● Your flattery here is excellent.  \nIf you are worrying about the travel distance , don’t worry. I took a survey in my class and only one person gets carsick. Alternatively , we could take a train; remember when we went to France and took a train to get into Paris , not one of us got lost!  \nNotes for student  \n● Brilliant use of a survey as evidence of support for your idea. Well done Anaiya.  \n● Well done for using a semicolon here.  \nWe barely get to go on fun trips-Chessington was cancelled due to COVID and many other options to learn history are quite boring as you just have to walk around , staring at shields and armour. The staff are always so quiet and so boring as they speak with no expression!  \nNotes for student  \n● Great use of a dash but remember you need to leave a space on both sides of the dash.  \n● Nice comparison of the staff at a museum to those at the London Dungeons. They are very different!  \nIf you are still not very keen on this , I might know why. It is the cost. Tickets are very expensive at twenty-five pounds per student! Well in my class (class 7B ,) we have nineteen students. We have eight classes which roughly adds up to one hundred and sixty pounds (discluding the tour) and I personally know you as a budget type person so for every ten students you get two pounds off. (Well , that is if you pay but you always do because you are such a lovely teacher.)  \nNotes for student  \n● It is a good idea to talk about the cost of the trip but be careful with your maths. 25x19x8=£3800! Not £160!  \n● “Discluding” is not a real word. Next time try using “not including”instead.  \n● Great idea to tell your teacher you can get a discount! Very persuasive!  \nAre you wondering what will happen to the people who get sick at the sight of the London Dungeons? Do not fret. Take my friend , Susan for  \nexample. She cannot stand the sight of a tooth bleeding. You may ","cbCaibX0zztLX6eb","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaibX0zztLX6eb","pdf",82191,6,"English","# Notes for student\n## Formal letter quality\n## Persuasion techniques\n## Evidence, statistics, and cost\n## Tone, safety, and conclusion","[{\"question\":\"What feedback does the document give to make the persuasion stronger?\",\"answer\":\"The notes recommend correcting grammar (such as possessives and “not including”), improving reliability by adding sources for statistics, and avoiding wording that could scare or upset students (reminding the teacher it is pretend and no real blood).\"}]","Persuasive Writing - School Trip Letter - Write a Letter to Your Teacher | PDF",1789516932]