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It argues that relationship failure often stems from predictable psychological patterns rather than luck or competence. 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This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not be resold, lent, hired out or otherwise circulated without express prior consent of the publisher.  \nA proportion of this book has appeared online at[thebookoflife.org](thebookoflife.org)  \nEvery effort has been made to contact the copyright holders of the material reproduced in this book. If any have been inadvertently overlooked, the publisher will be pleased to make restitution at the earliest opportunity.  \nThe School of Life offers programmes, publications and services to assist modern individuals in their quest to live more engaged and meaningful lives. We’ve also developed a collection of content-rich, design-led retail products to promote useful insights and ideas from culture.  \n[www.theschooloflife.com](www.theschooloflife.com)[ ](www.theschooloflife.com)[ISBN 978-0-9955736-2-8](ISBN 978-0-9955736-2-8)  \nContents  \nI  \nWhy You Will Marry the Wrong Person Page 7  \nII When Is One Ready to Get Married? Page 35  \nIII  \nHow Love Stories Ruin Our Love Lives Page 55  \nI Why You Will Marry  \nthe Wrong Person  \nAnyone we might marry could, of course, be a little bit wrong for us. We don’t expect bliss every day. We know that perfection is not on the cards. Nevertheless, there are couples who display such deep-seated incompatibility, such heightened rage and disappointment, that we have to conclude that something else is at play beyond the normal scratchiness: they appear to have married the wrong person.  \nHow do such errors happen in our enlightened, knowledgerich times? We can say straight off that they occur with appalling ease and regularity. Academic achievement and career success seem to provide no vaccines. Otherwise intelligent people daily and blithely make the move.  \nGiven that it is about the single costliest mistake any of us can make (it places rather large burdens on the state, employers and the next generation too), there would seem to be few issues more important than that of marrying intelligently.  \nIt’s all the more poignant that the reasons why people make the wrong choices are rather easy to lay out and unsurprising in their structure. We ruin our lives for reasons that can be summed up in an essay. They tend to fall into some of the following basic categories:  \n9  \nWHY YOU WILL MARRY THE WRONG PERSON  \nA standard question on any early dinner date should be quite simply:‘And how are you mad?’  \n1  \nWe don’t understand ourselves  \nWhen first looking out for a partner, the requirements we come up with are coloured by a beautifully non-specific sentimental vagueness: we’ll say we really want to find someone who is ‘kind’ or ‘fun to be with’, ‘attractive’ or‘up for adventure…’.  \nIt isn’t that such desires are wrong; they are just not remotely precise enough in their understanding of what we in particular are going to require in order to stand a chance of being happy – or, more accurately, not consistently glum.  \nAll of us are crazy in very particular ways. We’re distinctively neurotic, unbalanced and immature, but don’t know quite the details because no one ever encourages us too hard to find them out. An urgent, primary task of any lover is therefore to get a handle on the specific ways in which they are mad. They have to get up to speed on their individual neuroses. They have to grasp where these have come from, what they make them do – and, most importantly, what sort of people either provoke  \n10  \nWHY YOU WILL MARRY THE WRONG PERSON  \n11  \nWHY YOU WILL MARRY THE ","cbCaikSTxG2pqQzh","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaikSTxG2pqQzh","pdf",33694,"English","# Contents\n## I Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person\n## II When Is One Ready to Get Married?\n## III How Love Stories Ruin Our Love Lives","[{\"question\":\"Why does the book say people end up marrying the wrong person?\",\"answer\":\"It says compatibility failures often come from misreading ourselves and making choices with vague, sentimental criteria. Couples may only discover core issues once marriage locks them into long-term dynamics.\"},{\"question\":\"What does “We don’t understand ourselves” mean in the context of choosing a partner?\",\"answer\":\"The text argues that people describe needs in imprecise terms like kindness or fun, without identifying the specific traits required to stay emotionally stable. It also stresses that individuals often lack awareness of their own patterns and triggers.\"},{\"question\":\"How does the book explain why self-knowledge is difficult before marriage?\",\"answer\":\"It states that people rarely encounter situations that mirror their disturbances in everyday casual relationships. When difficulties surface, they may blame a partner, end the relationship, or avoid deeper probing from friends.\"}]","Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - The Sorrows of Love - Part 1 | PDF",1792248991,11]