[{"data":1,"prerenderedAt":-1},["ShallowReactive",2],{"doc-detail-114409-en":3,"doc-seo-114409-105":28,"detail-sidebar-cat-0-en-105":89},{"code":4,"msg":5,"data":6},0,"success",{"doc_id":7,"user_id":8,"nickname":9,"user_avatar":10,"doc_module":4,"category_id":11,"category_name":12,"doc_title":13,"doc_description":14,"doc_content":15,"file_id":16,"file_url":17,"file_type":18,"file_size":19,"view_count":4,"is_deleted":4,"is_public":11,"is_downloadable":11,"audit_status":11,"page_count":20,"language":21,"language_code":22,"site_id":23,"html_lang":22,"table_of_contents":24,"faqs":25,"seo_title":13,"seo_description":14,"update_tm":26,"read_time":27},114409,8796095461564,"Liam","https://ap-avatar.wpscdn.com/davatar_155a257f0dc6eb9ab79c44ca47cae57d",1,"Story & Novel","Not Okay - Chapter 1","“Not Okay” opens with an attorney-client faceoff that turns tense silence into a psychological battleground. The narrator, charged with murder, worries that speaking may trigger catastrophe, while repeatedly fixating on the court-appointed lawyer Sabrina—her youth, ambition, and physical insecurity. Interactions revolve around courtroom protocol, fear of being judged, and the narrator’s compulsive thoughts as the pressure of testimony escalates.","[OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)  \n[OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)  \nCopyright 2020 Vinal Publishing Inc.  \nFirst Edition August 29, 2020  \nThis is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and dialogue are either the products of the author ’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.  \nThe Estate of Thomas A. Harris or its assigns does not endorse or support this book. Printed in Canada  \nPublished by Vinal Publishing Inc.  \n193 Delaware Ave Buffalo NY 14202 ISBN: 978-1-7345036-1-6  \n[OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)  \nContents  \nNot Okay  \nChapter 1  \nChapter 2  \nChapter 3  \nChapter 4  \nChapter 5  \nChapter 6  \nChapter 7  \nChapter 8  \nChapter 9  \nChapter 10  \nChapter 11  \nChapter 12  \nChapter 13  \nChapter 14  \nChapter 15  \nChapter 16  \nChapter 17  \nChapter 18  \nChapter 19  \nChapter 20  \nChapter 21  \nChapter 22  \n[OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)  \nNot Okay  \n“Did you do it?”  \nDo what?“Did you kill this guy?”  \nWell, yeah.“Why?”  \n[OceanofPDF.com](OceanofPDF.com)  \n1.  \nNow my lawyer, she’s looking at me and I’m looking at her and she’s looking at me and I’m not saying anything and she’s not saying anything and this has gone on long enough that I think maybe the first one of us who speaks is just going to pop like a balloon. I’m thinking this is a challenge to her, like who’s going to be dominating who, make me speak and she’s incharge, I make her speak and I’m in charge, that kind of thing. But I don’t care who’s in charge, I don’t really get that sort of thing anyway, I’m just worried I’ll be popping like a balloon. Or she will be, that wouldn’t be any good either. I’m already in trouble. I bet they’d blame me for that too.  \nShe deserves an answer. Even if it is an answer she can’t use in court. It is my turn. She spoke last, it is my damned turn. I am going to pop. I just know it.  \nSabrina! Yeah. Her name is Sabrina. I don’t know why it isn’t Mrs. something or miss something or Ms. something even. Lawyers aren’t this informal on TV. We don’t know each other. She’s just a court appointed lawyer. And she’s still waiting. She still hasn’t said anything again, at least I don’t think so. I haven’t either. Maybe she knows about the popping. She could know she could pop if she speaks. Most likely not. People never know. They never know when they could pop if they speak. They never know that. I don’t know why they don’t ever know that. It is important enough to want to know. But I can’t tell them. I’ve learned that much. If I tell someone they might have popped but they didn’t, they think, just because they didn’t pop that time that they couldn’t have. I guess it makes life easier for people not to know how dangerous life really is.  \nI don’t know Sabrina’s story. I hate not knowing anything, so I start thinking about it. I bet she’s hot stuff. Wants to win herself a case and look good for her bosses. She’s so young and pretty. She must not have been out of school long. I bet she passed the BAR exam last week and this is her first case ever. Shit damn! Her first case and she gets stuck with a loser like me. That’s pretty bad luck. I was born guilty. Before I ever killed anyone I was guilty. She’s not going to build her resume on this case. I’m going down.  \nShe looks short to me, so I start to wonder if she’s short. You can’t always tell when people are sitting down. That’s Sabrina, my lawyer,  \nappointed by the court from the Orange County, New York public defender ’s office. She’s ambitious, fresh out of law school. I am going to be such a disappointment.  \nI’m thinking five foot three. Five four. She’s short all right. Look at her shoes. An extra inch of sole. Short girls wear shoes like that. She’s short. She’s got on the thickest socks she can find too. Anything to add a little height. She’s so insecure about her height.  \n“You look good to me; I don’t think you are too short.”  \nFuck, shit, damn, that was me! 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