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Commentary 1 evaluates an essay on the Valencia region, covering main cities, coastal fishing, car industry exports, and related references to food, tourism, and environmental claims, then judges the response as general and insufficiently detailed for cohesion and specificity. Commentary 2 reviews an explanation of a difficult period, highlighting factual inaccuracies, mis-spellings, incoherent paragraphing, limited development, and assigns marks based on the mark-grid descriptors.",{"@graph":69,"@context":122},[70,84,105],{"@type":71,"itemListElement":72},"BreadcrumbList",[73,77,79,82],{"item":74,"name":75,"@type":76,"position":8},"https://docshare.wps.com","Home","ListItem",{"item":78,"name":9,"@type":76,"position":14},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/",{"item":80,"name":20,"@type":76,"position":81},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/exam/",3,{"item":83,"name":65,"@type":76,"position":19},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/commentary-1-awarded-11-marks/624049/",{"url":83,"name":65,"@type":85,"image":86,"author":91,"headline":65,"publisher":94,"fileFormat":97,"inLanguage":63,"description":67,"dateModified":98,"datePublished":99,"encodingFormat":97,"isAccessibleForFree":100,"interactionStatistic":101},"DigitalDocument",{"url":87,"@type":88,"width":89,"height":90},"https://docshare.wps.com/thumbnails/commentary-1-awarded-11-marks/624049.png","ImageObject",300,407,{"name":92,"@type":93},"awa","Person",{"url":74,"name":95,"@type":96},"DocShare","Organization","application/vnd.openxmlformats-officedocument.wordprocessingml.document","2026-10-31","2026-10-20",true,{"@type":102,"interactionType":103,"userInteractionCount":14},"InteractionCounter",{"@type":104},"ViewAction",{"@type":106,"mainEntity":107},"FAQPage",[108,114,118],{"name":109,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":111},"What criteria are used to award marks in these commentaries?","Question",{"text":112,"@type":113},"Each commentary evaluates Content and Communication, Quality of Language, and Critical Analysis, Organisation and Development using the mark grid descriptors.","Answer",{"name":115,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":116},"Why was Commentary 1 given a low mark?",{"text":117,"@type":113},"The response gives a very general outline with limited depth, weak cohesion and organization, and insufficient specific detail or supporting evidence.",{"name":119,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":120},"What major issues are noted in Commentary 2?",{"text":121,"@type":113},"It contains factually incorrect statements, spelling mistakes and unclear wording, with short unrelated paragraphs, inadequate explanation, and limited development of ideas.","https://schema.org",{"og:url":83,"og:type":124,"og:title":65,"og:site_name":95,"og:description":67},"article",{"robots":126,"canonical":83},"index,follow",{"doc_id":128,"site_id":62},624049,1792472818,{"code":4,"msg":5,"data":131},{"doc_id":128,"user_id":132,"nickname":92,"user_avatar":133,"doc_module":4,"category_id":19,"category_name":20,"doc_title":65,"doc_description":67,"doc_content":134,"file_id":135,"file_url":136,"file_type":137,"file_size":138,"view_count":14,"is_deleted":4,"is_public":8,"is_downloadable":8,"audit_status":8,"page_count":8,"language":139,"language_code":63,"site_id":62,"html_lang":63,"table_of_contents":140,"faqs":141,"seo_title":142,"seo_description":67,"update_tm":129,"read_time":81},3985747858093,"https://ap-avatar.wpscdn.com/davatar_3d24733baf745e90a7e4bdd5f77d97b2","\u0001\n\n\u0013ask LEVEL \"WHAT LEVEL?\" \u0015\u0013ask SUBJECT \"WHAT SUBJECT?\" \u0014Comparison of key skills specifications 2000/2002 with 2004 standards\u0015\u0013ask CODE \"WHAT CODE?\" \u0014X015461\u0015\u0013ask DATE \"WHAT DATE?\" \u0014July 2004\u0015\u0013ask ISSUE \"WHAT ISSUE?\" \u0014Issue 1\u0015\n\n\nCommentaries\nSummer 2024\u000b\n\nInternational A Level \nIn Spanish (WSP04) Unit 1\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\nCommentary 1 – Awarded 11 Marks\n9b   Describe los productos y/o los servicios principales de la región o del país que has estudiado. Analiza la relación entre estos productos y/o servicios y el estilo de vida de la zona.\n\b\n\b\b\b      \u0001\n     \u0001\n\n\n\nContent and Communication (4 marks)\nThe introductory paragraph focuses on the Valencia region. It begins by outlining the principal cities of the area and then concentrates on Valencia itself, one of the largest cities in Spain with 800,000 inhabitants.    \nThe second paragraph deals with the coastal region and the importance of the fishing industry which contributes to the economy of the region. No specific details are given.  The attention then turns to the car industry which accounts for 24% of the economy through exports. Again, no specific detailed information is provided to support the claim. A passing mention is made of the industrial sector and the popularity of paella, especially that made with seafood such as prawns and octopus. Finally, there is the general observation that Spain is the most popular country for tourists, 79 million of whom visit the country each year.\nThe third paragraph returns to the consumption of fish and seafood because of the region’s proximity to the sea. Passing mention is made of the consumption of wine before returning to the automobile industry and the importance of electric cars to reduce carbon dioxide emissions. Then follows a sentence about CO2 responsible for converting snow into water and consequently reducing Spain’s territory by 20%, taking away some of the beaches and consequently losing tourism and therefore economy.\nThe essay gives a very general outline of the Valencia area and its produce and services. It unfortunately lacks specific detail and cohesion in the organisation of ideas. The information given is basic, there is limited depth and more supporting evidence could be provided.\nFor these reasons the best fit would be the 4-6 box in the mark grid and, given that there are elements of the box below, the final mark awarded was 4.\n\nQuality of Language (4 marks)\nThere is communication achieved most of the time, although one sentence towards the end is not easily understandable. Grammar usage is mainly good and there is an acceptable range of vocabulary. For these reasons, a mark of 4 would be the best fit.\n\nCritical Analysis, Organisation and Development (3 marks)\nThe ideas in this essay lack development and are often unconnected. There is some repetition and there are no conclusive remarks to substantiate the essay content. For these reasons a mark of 3 would be appropriate.\nCommentary 2 – Awarded 19 Marks\n10a Explica las circunstancias que resultaron en un período difícil durante la época que has estudiado.  Analiza cuáles eran los factores clave en esta situación. \n\b\n\b\b    \u0001\n\b    \u0001\n\n\n\nContent and Communication (7 marks)\nThe introduction is poorly written and has elements which are factually incorrect (dos dictaduras). The use of the verb ‘resulto’ is misleading, although we can guess what the candidate was trying to say.\nThe second paragraph is just one sentence and does not explain fully the circumstances which led to the king deciding to go into exile in Rome. The name of the president, Alcalá Zamora, is mis-spelt.\nParagraph 3, again very short, produces two unrelated sentences, with the second sentence being factually incorrect; José Antonio’s father, General Primo de Rivera, was the dictator who effectively ruled Spain from 1923 – 1930. José Antonio was the founder of the Falange party but was never dictator.\nParagraph 4 introduces another unrelated fact that remains unexplained and undeveloped.\nParagraph 5 is a simp","cbCaimodcul1iHHG","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaimodcul1iHHG","docx",7040296,"English","# Commentaries\n## Commentary 1 – Awarded 11 Marks\n## Commentary 2 – Awarded 19 Marks\n## Commentary 3 – Awarded 33 Marks","[{\"question\":\"What criteria are used to award marks in these commentaries?\",\"answer\":\"Each commentary evaluates Content and Communication, Quality of Language, and Critical Analysis, Organisation and Development using the mark grid descriptors.\"},{\"question\":\"Why was Commentary 1 given a low mark?\",\"answer\":\"The response gives a very general outline with limited depth, weak cohesion and organization, and insufficient specific detail or supporting evidence.\"},{\"question\":\"What major issues are noted in Commentary 2?\",\"answer\":\"It contains factually incorrect statements, spelling mistakes and unclear wording, with short unrelated paragraphs, inadequate explanation, and limited development of ideas.\"}]","Commentary 1 - Awarded 11 Marks | DOCX"]