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She explores how the loss changes her daughter, her marriage, and her ability to function, while also explaining what did and did not help through counseling, books, and distance from support groups. Finally, she finds hope and recognition through a grandparents-only forum and shared experiences that affirm her emotional reality.",{"@graph":69,"@context":122},[70,84,105],{"@type":71,"itemListElement":72},"BreadcrumbList",[73,77,79,82],{"item":74,"name":75,"@type":76,"position":8},"https://docshare.wps.com","Home","ListItem",{"item":78,"name":9,"@type":76,"position":14},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/",{"item":80,"name":45,"@type":76,"position":81},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/religion-spirituality/",3,{"item":83,"name":65,"@type":76,"position":19},"https://docshare.wps.com/document/a-grandparents-lament-by-lyn-atkinson-poem-grief-journey/142127/",{"url":83,"name":65,"@type":85,"image":86,"author":91,"headline":65,"publisher":94,"fileFormat":97,"inLanguage":63,"description":67,"dateModified":98,"datePublished":99,"encodingFormat":97,"isAccessibleForFree":100,"interactionStatistic":101},"DigitalDocument",{"url":87,"@type":88,"width":89,"height":90},"https://docshare.wps.com/thumbnails/a-grandparents-lament-by-lyn-atkinson-poem-grief-journey/142127.png","ImageObject",300,407,{"name":92,"@type":93},"Evangeline","Person",{"url":74,"name":95,"@type":96},"DocShare","Organization","application/pdf","2026-10-08","2026-08-25",true,{"@type":102,"interactionType":103,"userInteractionCount":81},"InteractionCounter",{"@type":104},"ViewAction",{"@type":106,"mainEntity":107},"FAQPage",[108,114,118],{"name":109,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":111},"Why does the author struggle to relate to other bereavement experiences?","Question",{"text":112,"@type":113},"She distinguishes grandparent grief from parental grief and explains that losing a grandchild creates a specific kind of love and helplessness that others may not understand.","Answer",{"name":115,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":116},"What made traditional support difficult for her?",{"text":117,"@type":113},"She found attendance impractical due to distance, counseling required long travel and left her exhausted, and books often suggested actions she could not safely or comfortably follow.",{"name":119,"@type":110,"acceptedAnswer":120},"How did the grandparents-only forum help her cope?",{"text":121,"@type":113},"Reading posts and posting her story made her feel understood rather than “crazy,” connected her with others facing similar losses, and gradually helped her days become better.","https://schema.org",{"og:url":83,"og:type":124,"og:title":65,"og:site_name":95,"og:description":67},"article",{"robots":126,"canonical":83},"index,follow",{"doc_id":128,"site_id":62},142127,1787675595,{"code":4,"msg":5,"data":131},{"doc_id":128,"user_id":132,"nickname":92,"user_avatar":133,"doc_module":4,"category_id":44,"category_name":45,"doc_title":65,"doc_description":67,"doc_content":134,"file_id":135,"file_url":136,"file_type":137,"file_size":138,"view_count":81,"is_deleted":4,"is_public":8,"is_downloadable":8,"audit_status":8,"page_count":24,"language":139,"language_code":63,"site_id":62,"html_lang":63,"table_of_contents":140,"faqs":141,"seo_title":142,"seo_description":67,"update_tm":129,"read_time":143},13056703019662,"https://ap-avatar.wpscdn.com/avatar/be000253a8e92610077?_k=1778726343310543188","Conor Jeremy McAuliffe By Lyn Atkinson  \nA GRANDPARENTS LAMENT  \nI submitted the poem “A Grandparents Lament” to you after a friend had emailed me saying, “Don’t you think you should have got used to living without your little grandson by now? You have five others.”  \nIt is ONLY nine months since he went to Heaven, although sometimes it feels like a lifetime but all the memories we have of his three short years are still so vivid. I know I will NEVER get used to not having him in our life. This was only one insensitive comment. I have heard them all. Of course, I forgive my friends because fortunately they have not experienced this grief, the loss of a grandchild, and I hope they never understand.  \nWhen the unthinkable happens and you lose a grandchild you quickly find it difficult to find people who really understand. In NO way can I relate my pain to that of a parent who has lost a child and I know that they must find this almost too much to bear. My daughter and son-in-law are two of the most amazing, caring and courageous people I know and I know there are many more out there who somehow continue to live and care for their children while their grief must be absolutely crippling in every sense.  \nI can only speak as a Grandmother and one who is only nine months down the grief journey but I know in the first few weeks I felt I had lost everything. I had lost a grandchild, and until you have had one of those you cannot comprehend the love you feel for them. Although you have not given birth to them they are of your flesh and blood and steal your heart. When my little man died I felt as if a piece of my heart had broken off and will not be re-attached until we meet again.  \nI also mourn for my daughter, who is not the child I knew before she lost her child. When you bring a child into this world your aim is to nurture and protect them and make sure they grow into adults. When they don’t and they suffer the immeasurable pain of losing their child you feel, as a parent, that you too let your child down and you cannot fix it but that is what you strive to do. Once a Mother, always a Mother. In hindsight I realize this drive to help your child probably only adds to your child’s grief, I think that to survive grief you need to be selfish and in a way I think the grieving parents feel as if they may be expected to help the grieving grandparent. Of course, the grandparent does not want to be helped by them; they just want to ease their pain.  \nAs I struggled with this I forgot myself. I subscribed to The Compassionate Friends but live too faraway to attend meetings. I knew if I phoned it was at a desperate moment and all I would do was cry. I wanted to be hugged. I tried counselling with some success but once again an eight hour round trip to get there and afterwards I was exhausted. I read books on helping others in their grief, some helped but I felt a failure because I was not close enough to help my child with every day chores, as is suggested in nearly every book. I could not just call in and let her sleep in her exhaustion while I took the other children. All the books say DON’T ASK WHAT THEY WANT, THEY DON’T KNOW. But I could not risk driving four hours to find I was not needed and in fact I may have been in the way, an extra body in their house. It was so hard; I felt useless, exhausted myself and could not seem to find a good place to be with my grieving child.  \nI was falling into a deep dark cavern where I wanted to hide away with my own sadness, some days just go to sleep and stay asleep. I am in a good marriage but my husband did not understand my grief nor feel that sadness himself. Our relationship suffered as I withdrew, as he just expected  \nme to be the normal, happy wife I was before. He could not understand why I could not find the enthusiasm for things I once loved. I felt like a shell.  \nAfter searching and searching finally I was directed in the right direction and I found a website [called www.agast.org/ and ","cbCaioQLi1nSgWQu","https://ap.wps.com/l/cbCaioQLi1nSgWQu","pdf",74141,"English","# A Grandparents Lament\n## The shock of loss and social misunderstanding\n## Mourning as a grandmother and impact on family\n## Seeking support through groups, books, and counseling\n## Finding understanding and recovery through a forum","[{\"question\":\"Why does the author struggle to relate to other bereavement experiences?\",\"answer\":\"She distinguishes grandparent grief from parental grief and explains that losing a grandchild creates a specific kind of love and helplessness that others may not understand.\"},{\"question\":\"What made traditional support difficult for her?\",\"answer\":\"She found attendance impractical due to distance, counseling required long travel and left her exhausted, and books often suggested actions she could not safely or comfortably follow.\"},{\"question\":\"How did the grandparents-only forum help her cope?\",\"answer\":\"Reading posts and posting her story made her feel understood rather than “crazy,” connected her with others facing similar losses, and gradually helped her days become better.\"}]","A Grandparents Lament - By Lyn Atkinson - Poem - Grief Journey | PDF",13]